Cardinal Points

Some Thoughts on Navigating a Life

Image by Danusha Laméris, ©2024

One of the things that has always amazed me is how humans made boats out of carved trees and set out to the vast, unruly sea, following the stars. How could they trust the stars to carry them across such an unknown expanse and especially in the dark? And what about traveling by day when the stars were not visible. They had only a compass to go by. A small thing, possible to hold in the palm of the hand, with a wand that wavered, pointed true north.

I don’t know how we travel through our lives. We are always in some kind of darkness. The unknown sea surrounds us. What to study in college to where to live, who to marry. Whether or not to have kids. Who to trust with your most vulnerable self. What medical treatment to accept, if any. Never mind what to eat and where to live. North. East. South. West. Oh, the abundance of choices. I have no idea how we do it.

I have tried it all. Making charts and plans. Winging it. Back to charting. And so forth. It seems to be a daily–––or at least weekly––necessity, this assessing. Is this working for me? Am I happy? What would I change if I could change something?

Napoleon Bonaparte said, “Nothing is more difficult, and therefore more precious, than to be able to decide.” Yes! This: the difficulty and also the importance. We who have choice are fortunate. Privileged.

And yet, no one has total choice. Things happen we cannot control. Our lives are hemmed in and defined by so many variables in any given moment.

Nelson Mandela said, “May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.” Well, amen to that. We want, at least, to chart a path we care about.

More and more I am coming up with my own rubric. Some combination of good old-fashioned logic, and a drive toward more freedom, more joy, and more expression. The thing about stars is that they emit light. I try to hone in on the things that emit light for me: Writing has been that for me in the arena of vocation. A dog, in the arena of animals. A husband in the arena of relationship. (And specifically, the current dog and husband iterations, I might add ; )

But I also have a growing sense that life itself has a say in the matter, in the project of charting. If I had to say, I’d say it leans toward growth. Likes challenge. Not only happiness as we ourselves might define it. But the joy that comes with climbing a mountain, standing up and speaking in front of an audience, starting a non-profit, daring to reach out and make new friends. Things that may push us to our limits. Life seems to like that. And by life I mean us. All of us. We seem to thrive from attempting things we didn’t think we could do. Even the dog, (to return to a favorite subject) likes when we set up obstacles for her to overcome. Hurdles. Hidden toys. New stairs up to the couch.

So here’s to taking a moment to look back at all the things we’ve done that maybe felt impossible a year or two––or decade––ago. And also to take some time to be bold, sit down with a notebook and pen, imagine what we might do next.

And if you’re up for more writing, check out my upcoming classes at www.danushalameris.com. One more spot in my 12 person class for February. And another, larger webinar, coming soon! Meanwhile, happy writing.