"So Are You Published, Yet?"

Some Words on Staving Off Literary Invaders and Living Our Best Lives

One of the aspects of writing that can be the most challenging to master is the art of preserving and protecting the space in which our writing occurs. This can mean the physical space (the time we set aside for writing, for example), or the inner sanctum that allows our writing to come forth and develop without interference. This is true for writers at every level, the brand new beginners as well as the most seasoned Pulitzer Prize winners. I have come to believe that the skill of protecting one’s writing in this way is as important as the writing skills themselves.

      When we look at athletes, it’s obvious that a big part of their career rests on their ability to handle stress. There are a whole slew of professions aimed at keeping the athlete focused, at the top of his or her game. As writers, we do our best without that kind of ongoing support. And yet, we have a need to know how to handle the demons that present themselves along the writing path.

“So have you been published, yet?” a new acquaintance asks at a party, swiveling her glass of red wine and managing a smile along with her withering gaze.

“ Why do you have to write about such depressing things?” says your beloved, yanking at the covers,  exasperated after reading your newest piece.

“Who do I think I am?” the voice in your head asks. What gives me the right to write this story?

   And even if ( god bless you) you’ve mastered the above, the is still a host of other invaders, some more blatant, some so subtle you may not have realized that they were lurking behind your five year bout of writer’s block.

   How do we stay permeable to constructive critique so that we can continue to grow as writers without being flooded by all the voices that discourage us? Well, I, like other writers, am still finding that out. However, I have learned a good deal along the way and have some tools to share with others.

     First, only share your writing in a space where it is likely to be received in the way you are needing in that moment. Example: You’re in the throes of grief. Your mother just died and you’ve written a piece about it. Do you take that to an anonymous, drop-in writers group and see how it flies? Probably better to sit on it or share it with a familiar writing friend. And ask to hold the critique. Often, friends and family are out of the question as they bring too much content—ie opinions about your life, history, what you should or shouldn’t have done, etc. Identify the “safe” people, in terms of writing and use that inner sanctum as support.

Secondly, published, schmublished. Everyone has to start out somewhere. Walt Whitman self-published Leaves of Grass when no one else would take it. Besides, maybe publication isn’t your end goal, anyway. Have a pocketful of handy quips ready for the inevitable cocktail party interrogations. For example: “I’m having such a wonderful time writing. I’m sure the rest will unfold in the best timing.” Then smile. The most important thing here––more important than the encounter itself––is how you talk to yourself on the car ride home. Do you think,” She’s right, I don’t have a book out. I’m a hack and now everyone knows it”? Or do you find a way to remember why it is you write, what you love about it, what about it opens you, makes you a happier, fuller human. It might not be a bad idea to write those things down on a small cue card and carry it in your wallet. I think I’m going to go do that right now…….

My husband,  when he was in music school, came across a small but helpful book called, How to Get Depressed. It was comprised, primarily, of lists of questions one could ask oneself before filling in the blanks. For example, if it pointed out, Mozart had composed three quartets by the age of five.” How old are you ? it asked, How many quartets have you composed? And so on….What I like about this approach is that it laid bare the various and sundry ways we torture ourselves by holding our light up to someone else’s. Guess what? Even the most brilliant lights, so to speak, are busy doing the same thing.

Let’s all agree not to play How to Get Depressed. Let’s celebrate reading a book today or writing a few lines. Let’s celebrate that we can celebrate others. There is so much more to life than where and how we’ve been published. And yes, I may have books out now, but I didn’t until sixteen years into being a writer, so I speak from experience. I had a lot of other things going on!

I’ll talk more later about how to find more actual time in which to write. That’s a whole other subject! But for now, I hope this helped even a little to quell the endless ways we torture ourselves. You are a writer because you love to write. End of story. How good it is to love something.

Scenes from my desk….(and yes, I seem to like orbs : )